Oh, Lesson Learning.

Christmastime proves to be a prime season in my life for learning lessons.  Hard lessons.  They could be much harder, so I'm not complaining.  They just aren't always pleasant.  But this brings to mind, "If you endure chastening, God deals with you as sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? ... Now, no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:7 & 11)  I need to endure this better.  But, I'll continue.

I feel that I'm not very good at voicing my opinion without offending.  I don't like to offend, or take risks that might offend.  One of my biggest internal struggles is when to stand up for what the Bible teaches, and when to be quiet; when to approach someone privately, and when to be bold in the moment something occurs.  I consider the boldness, especially of Paul, through Acts, and think of how the apostles were called "these who have turned the world upside down" (Acts 17:6), but then recall the my responsibility for peace in Romans 12:18 and 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12.  In no way am I saying the Bible contradicts Itself; rather, I lack the tact and loving humility to wisely address many topics among friends, even brothers and sisters in Christ.

This skill I lack was especially apparent in a recent conversation with Person A who regaled their version to Person B, which ended....well, not well.  I really did mean well in my conversation with Person A, but the way in which I presented it came off judgmentally and prompted Person B to approach me, in which the ensuing conversation I truthfully explained what I had meant, hoping this person still considered me a close, good, well-meaning friend.

Conflict is not my friend.  He brings sweat, tears, jittery hands, embarrassment, and scarlet coloring to my face.  I had a nice conversation (well, more casual lecture) with my father about this situation; I did glean some good advice:  "Never make the same mistake twice."  (He's always told me this, but I don't seem to be too good at practicing it, seeing as I've locked my keys inside the truck at least five times within a year or two.)  And, "Never single people out."  I don't want to do either of these things.  I take measures to not repeat mistakes and not offend people.  They just aren't working well.  Which brings me to my next point.  The more I see of myself, the more I dislike; the more I want to be like Jesus.  The reason my measures of avoiding mistakes and offenses haven't worked well is because they are mine, not Jesus'.  "He who abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked." (1 John 2:6)  "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 2:5)  Why is it so hard for me to understand that?  It's really not.  It's not that I don't believe it, I just don't do it.  Well do I empathize with Paul when, inspired by the Spirit, he wrote, "For what I am doing, I do not understand.  For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do." (Romans 7:15)

The only way I can learn to cease making the same mistakes and converse humbly without offending while faithfully representing the Word is a.)  by studying the Scriptures, learning how Christ reacted, seeing what He said, noting what He did, and b.)  by following James 1:25--looking into the perfect law of liberty, not being a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work.  Then I will be blessed in what I am doing.